August 2, 1994

Disclaimer: We all go through many different stages in life. I was in one of my depressive episodes years ago. I wrote down how I was feeling, whether they are good or not, I don’t know. Most are untitled, but I will put the date. I have also learned, changed, and evolved immensely in many ways through the years. Doesn’t mean the ‘episodes’ have stopped.

Loneliness is all through my body

Emptiness is all through my soul

My heart is a door to a house with no windows

My mind wanders when I wonder

Why can’t I sleep

Loneliness keeps me up all through the night

I do stupid things like smoke and drink too much

Loneliness is a sickness that spreads like cancer

Every day it gets worse

Eating away at my flesh and soul

I feel it, creeping and creeping through my bones

Over every ligament and joint

It’s settling itself in whatever crevice it finds

So ready to devour

I succumb to its power